Thoughts Negligible

I haven't given up on the wisdom series, only given up on trying to do it right now. Frankly, I'm overwhelmed. But I hope to start it up full swing maybe this summer.
Blessings

The heifer had placed herself in the far of the field, alone. I watched her as she paced circles, laid down, and got up again. She would soon have her calf. I walked out with a handful of hay to throw in front of her while reciting to myself a poem I was trying to memorize— “O I have been dilatory and dumb, I should have made my way straight to you long ago ...” I left and watched her from afar—lie down, get back up, lie down, get back up. After about an hour of this ritual she had birthed her first calf. Twenty minutes later the calf was pushing itself into air to test its newfound legs. It’s funny, even though there’s been no threat to these domesticated cattle for over 5000 years, their calves still feel the need to be walking after a few short minutes of air-breathing. What’s our excuse?

“I should have blabb’d nothing but you, I should have chanted nothing but you...”

As the calf gained confidence in his still-shaky legs he began to go after his mother’s milk. He would launch forward, looking for sustenance, and his mother would turn her body so he could not reach her teat. She would not allow him to eat—“These furies, elements, storms, motions of Nature, throes of apparent dissolution...” A first-time mother often doesn’t know how to take care of her calf. If the calf doesn’t suck within a short time of birth, it quickly loses strength as the protein-rich and antibody-rich colostrum wastes in the mother’s bag. The cow had lovingly cleaned him off, but would not let the calf eat, like the beauty-show moms who doll their daughters up and feed them celery while reminding them they’ll be fat and ugly if they eat real food.

But cows have no aesthetics. I sang songs to them yesterday and they just stared at me dumbly with meatball eyes. I played the guitar and sang of how dumb they were. My lyrics turned evangelistic as I called for the cows—young and old—to turn from their wicked ways, their sloth and gluttony and stupidity. If only St. Francis had been here! He would have converted all eight of them, my mighty herd, along with the birds, maybe my cat Muffin too (I’ve always wished she’d get saved because she’s getting old and she always looks so unpleasant). Why would they not turn? Why did they not fall, repentantly, to their knobby knees? Perhaps my tone wasn’t urgent enough, my chords not dark and persistent enough? I suppose a G, C, and D were bad choices—too typical, over-used, too churchy, too cliche—but, alas, my imagination was dry. Perhaps their hearts are too cold? Maybe my presentation wasn’t flashy enough? No strobe lights. No amps. No stage. Just my wooden chair and Martin, a cup of water for my parched throat, and my cell phone turned to vibrate as not to disturb the service. That’s not very culturally relevant, even for cows. The sun was our only light, which was warm enough for me, but they see that every day; the grass, our carpet, but they eat from there, it’s nothing new to them; the barbed-wire fence was our sanctuary walls (which I, mistakenly, sat outside of), but it is too constricting, too threatening. How could they relax in these conditions? They seemed relaxed to me though, masticating their cud with apathetic, unworried eyes. They were unconcerned with the Hellfire that awaits them.

I was about to shake the dust from my feet when the calves became interested in my message, for they congregated near the fence, gazing at me in song. You’ve got to get them young! Teach them in the ways of God young so they won’t forget when they’re older, so they’ll return later.

All of these cows are single mothers. Their bull is introduced to them once—WHAM! BAM! Thank you ma’am!—then he’s gone. Another dead-beat. They raise these kids on their own. Maybe I need a Minister to Single Mothers? A Minister to Fatherless Calves? How much are they running these days?

All these single mothers became a nuisance as they knowingly sniffed around the wobbly calf. I could hear them all insisting this young mother didn’t know what she was doing. She was clearly intimidated as she shuffled back a little to allow the other three mothers a closer look. Even the little calves got in on the action. The new calf would pathetically wobble into the bags of the other mothers who would disdainfully push it away with their heads, knocking it around in a dizzy haze.

I held the baby in my arms as my mother drove the eighty yards to the barn. He rested his head lazily on my arms. Even an Old Testament temple priest would have been moved to compassion. I smiled as he turned his head towards his back legs seeming as comfortable as on the ground. This calf was heavy and didn’t help any as I had lifted his dead weight into the back of the mule (the vehicle, not the animal). We tried to get the mother to follow, but she just stayed behind, helpless as we kidnapped her still-wet calf. So we took it back and laid it down.

After a bit longer she allowed the calf to suck and it began to hop around its mother with the joy of the living, the joy I often forget. Such a stupid animal with joy and enthusiasm I envied. Such a stupid animal that taught me so many lessons today. If only I had page enough to share more with you.

I've been doing some reading in wisdom literature lately while simultaneously reading renown literary critic Harold Bloom's Where Shall Wisdom Be Found? I realize that my life over the last few years has been a search for the answer to this very question, and will continue till...forever. Wisdom is out there, for I've read and known those who have found it. Or maybe they just pretend?

Many criticize Bloom, and he certainly merits criticism at times, but he's brought this question--Where shall wisdom be found?--to the front of my mind, whereas before it was an unstated motivation. I seek wisdom to live fully alive, submit to God, and to live humbly in service to others. The way the Old Testament talks about wisdom is in a manner of pressing urgency:

Lady Wisdom goes out in the street and shouts … :
"Simpletons! How long will
you wallow in ignorance?
Cynics! How long will you feed your cynicism?
Idiots! How long will you refuse to learn?
About face! I can revise your
life.
Look, I'm ready to pour out my spirit on you;
I'm ready to tell
you all I know.
As it is, I've called, but you've turned a deaf ear;
I've reached out to you, but you've ignored me.

"Since you laugh at
my counsel
and make a joke of my advice,
How can I take you seriously?
I'll turn the tables and joke about your troubles!
What if the
roof falls in,
and your whole life goes to pieces? [like Job?]
What if catastrophe strikes and there's nothing
to show for your life but rubble and
ashes?
You'll need me then. You'll call for me, but don't expect
an answer.
No matter how hard you look, you won't find me.

"Because you hated Knowledge
and had nothing to do with the Fear-of-God,
Because you wouldn't take my advice
and brushed aside all my offers to train you,
Well, you've made your bed--now lie in it;
you wanted your own way--now, how do you like it?
Don't you see what happens, you simpletons, you idiots?
Carelessness kills; complacency is murder.
First pay attention to me,
and then relax.
Now you can take it easy--you're in good hands.

(Prov 1:20-33 The Message)

And this:

Good friend, take to heart what I'm telling you;
collect my counsels and
guard them with your life.
Tune your ears to the world of Wisdom;
set your heart on a life of Understanding.
That's right--if you make Insight
your priority,
and won't take no for an answer, . . .
Believe me, before you know it Fear-of-God will be yours;
you'll have come upon the Knowledge
of God

(Prov 2:1-5 The Message).

You'll notice in both of these passages that "wisdom" and "Fear-of-God" are synonymous. The wooing from Lady Wisdom strikingly resembles God's impassioned pleas to Israel to return to him in passages throughout the OT.

So, there! We have our answer, concisely and powerfully: Wisdom is the fear of God. You can stop reading now if this has quenched your desire for wisdom. But this answer opens up more questions for me. What is fear of God? Is it like hiding from a grizzly bear in the forest? Is it wistful submission to any injustice? Is it demeaning our suffering by saying "Well, God's God, and he can do whatever he wants or allow what he will; after all, it's our fault for turning against him and sinning"? I find this kind of God one not worth serving. All too often this is the comfort I hear--or most likely have given--to the problem of others pain. But why do we have to hide this kind of God from those being evangelized, only to slap them in the face with his apathy when they've made a commitment:

Taking a cue from dating is helpful on this point. If we desire people to be happily married to Jesus as his loving bride, it makes sense to let them go out on a few dates with him instead of just putting a shotgun to their heads and asking them to hurry up, put on a white dress, and try to look happy for the
photos. --Mark Driscoll

The first book we will look at, I believe, offers some good, perhaps not too comforting, answers to these questions. I'm finding, however, that those things which initially offend me in wisdom literature, and in the gospel in general, turn out to be my biggest comfort. Must we peel back the fabric of the cosmos so there is no more mystery? Are answers really always comforting? Are answers always wisdom? Take a moment and ponder that last question. It seems we often cheapen wisdom, God's wisdom, with explanations. I'm not sure the two are always the same, and I think the two proffer differing levels of comfort when actual troubles strike. The beauty of Job is that we are left with ambiguity, gaping in awe in the presence of a boundless God and a universe which may be in fact ambivalent to our existence. Job insists that answers aren't wisdom, nor are they comforting when we are confronted with tragedy, doubt, and injustice. Job insists that we live with a sense of mystery, that our lives are something less faithful when we demand the death of mystery; in the end, the death of mystery is our arrogant denial of God.

Where shall wisdom be found? Since we know the answer to the question, let's find out how we got there. Let's take the wisdom-journey, a path so few take, a road narrow, but the only one worth traveling.

If you can, spend some time looking over Job 1-15, and 38-end. I would also suggest you meditate on the Lady Wisdom passage above, unpack the call to Wisdom, the wisdom of Wisdom.

God gave them an unusual aptitude for learning the literature and science of the time -- (Daniel 1:17).

Dear friends,

Since I’ve noticed Artie has linked me from the CCC blog, and also that he posted on college recently, I felt the need to address you concerning something I feel passionate about and to encourage those who are planning to attend college. I want to offer advice, and some warnings.

God has given us an amazing gift in our mind; it is that which brings together our heart and spirit; as in the physical body, it is one part of the body of Christ, but as science (and decapitation!) has taught us, without it, the rest of the body will not function. The mind is the gateway to the world, with it we perceive everything around us and apprehend the deeper things of God.

All Christians are called to cultivate this amazing gift. As Jesus said: “The most important commandment is this . . . you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength” (Mark 12:29-30). I put all these forces in italics because not one is more important than the other. And in my opinion, all are completely tied together in a way that one can’t be taken out and nothing could be added in. Jesus put it succinctly and powerfully: your love for God not only demands your complete self, it also promises to make you complete!

I have attended two universities and my college experience has been enlightening and humbling. At the moment I am at the University of Oklahoma as a junior in anthropology with a minor in religious studies. I am now making plans for graduate school. My faith has been greatly challenged at university, but after every battle with doubt, my faith has solidified into something stronger—not weakened. I say this not in pride, for I have done nothing while Christ is everything, but as encouragement. It’s not a necessity that secular university destroy your faith, but it also doesn’t necessitate that you compartmentalize it from the rest of your learning. In fact, later in this letter I will encourage you to meld your faith completely with your “secular” learning. I will encourage you to take away the distinction between secular learning and sacred learning.

College has confronted me with questions I never asked before and a world I had never seen before. At many times my faith has been labeled as an antique and a crutch. The problem with this criticism is I agree! I’m finding I can no longer walk without a crutch, and this modern- post-modern society offers me little to hope in. Christ is all we have—of this I’m more convinced every day! But let me say this to you: If your faith cannot be questioned and challenged, and if it cannot hold up to scrutiny, it is not a faith worth having. Faith—especially faith in Christ—is not for the faint of heart, especially not today, when it is despised and criticized from every corner. “Don’t let anyone mislead you” (Matt 24:4).

This leads me to another important point. As I have moved through the college scene I’ve seen more and more the need for educated Christians working faithfully IN the world, FOR the Kingdom. Christians have an amazing responsibility to engage our culture on our culture’s terms; if we shy away from this freedom, we shy away from addressing the needs of Jesus Christ in those who surround us (see Matt 25:31-46). We Christians do not live in a bubble. When we do, not only does the world around us suffer, but we suffer as well. We must bring the Love of Christ to those around us, to those who don’t believe, to those who do believe, and to those who despise believers. Ours is a holistic faith, not a compartmentalized one.

This is my Trojan Horse Strategy. We must place ourselves in the halls of leadership, academia, business, humanitarian work, etc., not so we can wrest power from a “Godless” government or force our moral convictions on those who do not agree, but to share the Love of Christ, that Glorious Promise, and to spread the Gospel through kindness, utilizing the resources that our different career paths offer us for the Kingdom. We also must seek to show the world the face of God, not the hateful or authoritarian face that so many Christians we see in the media show to the world which makes the world hate Him, but the face of compassion, social justice, conviction, humility, and infinite Love. While college isn’t necessary to love others, it is part of the cultural arena with which we must deal in, just as Daniel did when the Jews were captive in Babylon.

Artie is right when he says that money and a secure future should not be your motivation for college! I have seen a number of students fail miserably because this was their motivation (among other things). Put simply, money is not motivation enough for you. It won’t help you endure the seemingly pointless YEARS of studying Spanish, writing crappy Comp essays, studying American history, and living without adequate sleep and nourishment. We need a new motivation for college, and here is my suggestion. Don’t look at college as that necessary evil that you must endure to live the American Dream. Let me tell you, you’ll be miserable seeking the American Dream. It is hollow and shallow, with no substance for your soul, encouraging you to become mindless consumers lacking heart. In your pursuit for higher education seek to become a student of God and the world, for the world is his masterpiece and grand letter to us, convincing us of His Love and Dedication. In all of your classes seek the tidbits of God, or as Annie Dillard calls them, the pennies that are strewn all around us, to find and to be amazed at (See this passage quoted in the post below). Find God in your studies and be astounded by His Creation. You are not studying Jewish history; you’re studying God’s exemplary love for all humanity. You are not studying the root systems of trees; you’re studying a metaphor for our precious faith, which need roots deep and strong to weather the storms of doubt. You are not studying English literature; you’re finding hidden treasures as writers who had no intention of relating God’s purpose feed your soul with truth . . . the list goes on and on. Hallow the truth from everything. Don’t be a passive learner. Be passionate in your studies because you are studying God’s Workmanship itself!

I feel like I could say more but this letter is getting ridiculously long and you probably have school work to do, like me. Let me leave you with the admonition to love God and others. Artie has taught you this and he is right. You may find in college or after high school that the way you love God is different than the way you’ve been taught. This is good. God touches us in various ways depending on our personalities and pasts. What you find meaningful, someone else may not. But seek him earnestly, with gusto, in all you do! God will not be loved passively. Study Scripture as you study in school. Become students of God’s heart and creation and I assure you, you will be truly astounded! God bless you all. My prayers are with you.

In Christ,
tyler